I reflect on life as a series of journeys. The traveling is constant, more often than not, spiritual and mental as opposed to geographical. There are events when these factors collide and I find I must collect myself, drawing on everything my instincts and wisdom can provide. It's an intense and intimate refresher course on personal survival.
I knew that one day I would make the inevitable trip to the Viet Nam Veterans Memorial and confront the myriad of festering emotions, The Wall looms in waiting, shrouded with a sense of expectation and anticipation, drawing veterans into its dark embrace and enlightenment. It is our parallel to Mecca and pilgramige to understanding and resolution of spirit. I rediscovered my voice as a poet and writer as this overpowering place whispered in thousands of voices. I understood why political figures and other traitors avoid it. Their names must also be inscribed on something more than a Nation's fleeting consciousness. I will offer them no escape into history through the door of my silence. This was my disquieting message from The Wall.
Perhaps I will never come to terms with the me who was in 1968, or what I might have been. I left the monument more burdened than when I arrived, strong enough to carry on. I will follow my path, walking point on the tip of my pen.
All sense of power leaves you,
As you come upon this place,
Changes whirl about your head,
You see a phantom's face,
Your legs begin to weaken,
And heart begins to race,
One's soul is now a tablet,
With sins you can't erase,
Lungs fail now as bag pipes,
That would play "Amazing Grace,"
Weigh your pieces live and dead,
Then kneel and give accounting,
As scales rock madly back and forth,
This time there's no surmounting,
Your chin falls down to meet your chest,
As you plead for absolution,
Postured and prepared at once,
To accept your execution,
May the blade of guilt strike swiftly,
And end your evolution,
Knowing war and all these ghosts,
Can't offer resolution,
Then a stranger's arm embraces you,
Unlocks you like a key,
The demons that you caged inside,
Are suddenly set free,
You shake apart oblivious,
For all the world to see,
Survivors sharing knowingness,
And this moments destiny,
Judged by this 'Grand Jury,'
Whose name's are all inscribed,
Assembled fallen spirits,
To whom your tears are plied,
A sacred bonding now is shared,
Baptized, joined to stone,
A sense of peace for you won't spend,
Eternity alone,
The gates I seek aren't pearly,
No robes of lily white,
When I pass I'm coming here,
To darkness etched with light,
I will speak to generations,
Stand guard beside my brothers,
Offer what we came to know,
Reveal the truth to others,
Haunt the halls where leaders meet,
Our presence shall be known,
Fate in dreams will haunt them,
All consequences shown,
Bareback on the nightmare,
Stark naked and alone,
Should they create another war,
Then run while others fight,
We shall bring the fallen visiting,
Faithfully each night,
Should hell break loose,
We'll drag them there,
This 'Holy Vow' is cast,
The 'Warrior's Oath' is sacred,
Ours is everlast,
Dark shadow on the future,
Through granite, be it passed.