E.S. Interview

StormWarning!  interviews Gulf War vets with symptoms of Gulf War Syndrome.

SW!    What position did you have in the military?
E.S.    I was a squad leader in First Battalion Fifth Marines Weapons Company. I was attached to Bravo Company while I was over there, and then I got transferred to Charlie Company. I was in Third Platoon in First Battalion Fifth Marines and we had a larger section than the other three sections. We had the largest section because we were gonna be doing the spearhead and the others were on the edges, so they left us with six more people than the other three squads because of our mobility.

SW!    How long have you been in the military? Did you join just before the Gulf War?
E.S.    Actually, I joined in '82 I had planned on going to Annapolis and coming out a Marine Corps Officer. I was getting married after graduating from boot camp, and they said I couldn't have dependents. I wasn't gonna change my wedding plans so they said, 'Well, you can't go to Annapolis.' So I went directly into the Marine Corps as enlisted. I did that for eight years. I got forced out after the Gulf, and I did five years in the Army National Guard.

SW!    When you say forced out, what happened?
E.S.    I was not allowed to re-enlist. I was recommended for promotion, but due to cutbacks they said, 'Well, we'd rather train somebody new than train you into a different field.' My field was frozen. There were no promotions available. They're supposed to give you a one year severance pay, and I never got it.

SW!    Tell us about the symptoms you've experienced.
E.S.    I started getting rashes while I was in the Gulf-on my forearm, my hands... I have four different types of rashes. I'll get single dots. I'll get dots that grow 5-12 in a straight line. They'll leave a scar. I get circles. I get blotches. And they say it's all one thing-an infection of the hair follicle. Well, I don't have too much hair between my fingers. Sometimes they sprayed for insects and the wind would blow. We didn't know what it was. We'd just see the mist. We were ordered to take the biological pills. We had an NCO stand in front of us and watch us take these things. It was mandatory.

SW!    About the Pyridostigmine (PB) tablets, what reasons did your superiors give for taking them?
E.S.    That if we were exposed to chemicals, these would already be in our system and it would help us fight whatever symptoms that were gonna be ailing us. We had all kinds of vaccinations on the way in, and some while we were in country. It's also said that the burning of pure crude oil, and breathing it directly one hour, is worse than six months of being directly exposed to agent orange. That adds up to some years off my life. It was on CNN after we got back. Once I got over there, I started just eating dust. I was having great amounts of difficulty breathing. I have to breathe through my mouth now. The doctors punctured the holes bigger and tried to straighten my nose out a little more. They cleared the passages in the back a little bit. That lasted about two weeks and it was clogged up again. The arthritis in my knee is so bad that if I walk down a hill and I'm not braced, or if I'm carrying something down the stairs, sometimes my leg gives out on me. My hands are probably the worst, because my hands and my head were exposed all the time. I'm also severely light-sensitive. I was never light-sensitive before. I'd go outside in the sunshine all day long. Now I can't take the sun. I'm outside and I'll get so sick. I'll mow the lawn and I'm done for the day. I think the last time I got a sunburn was as a child. I've had two severe sunburns since I've been back. I had even put sunscreen on before I went out. For my light-sensitivity, if I wear my contacts, I have to wear sunglasses-and all my eye glasses are tinted now. I get just absolute painful headaches. I was never prone to headaches as a child or as a young adult. After they took this lump off my head, for some reason the headaches are more dramatic. Before, if I was to bump that lump, I'd get a headache. It would last for hours. If I wore a hard hat at my job and it was pushing on it, the throbbing pain it would generate would be excruciating.

SW!    What did they say the lump was?
E.S.    They just said it was a benign cyst. There was no problem with it, but since they've removed it, I get shooting pains. I can be driving along and it feels like someone just stabs me with a great big fork in the back of the head. I gotta pull over sometimes because it just gets so bad. We actually slept in one area where there were just thousands of dead animals everywhere. We got there at night, so we didn't see the signs. The next day they had all these signs up: 'Caution-Anthrax Area'. Anthrax is not supposed to harm people. But who says?

SW!    What about protective uniforms, gas masks...?
E.S.    We did random gas mask drills. If you didn't have your gas mask, your rifle, and at least one man to lean on you at all times, you would drop and do push-ups or have to do all kinds of extra duty, so I never was caught without my gas mask. However, it didn't serve me any purpose 'cause I wore it and I didn't have any [corrective vision-Ed.] inserts. We ordered them at least seven times when I was there. I was on the list, but I never got my inserts. Our chemical alarms did go off when we were in there, but then they would come over the radio to say it was an error, a false alarm...

SW!    Has anyone close to you experienced symptoms?
E.S.    My wife, who I'm separated from now, started getting rashes. I haven't talked to her since then, but she went down to the VA hospital with me and she also goes to her regular doctor.

SW!    Have you taken the VA on over this?
E.S.    I've been down several times, and they said I had to register so I registered. They want to solve one thing at a time. You know, 'We'll work on this first, and then we'll work on this...' They're dilly-dallying so much I don't even know if I'm registered for benefits yet. I've talked to several vets at the VA while we were waiting for treatment, most of whom looked worse than me. A couple of the guys who were there-they looked better than me a couple months ago. One guy who wasn't there-he told me he thought I was full of bull for the longest time. Well, now he looks worse than the other guys. He physically cannot move. He has no job anymore. I've talked to a couple people from different jobs that I've had who have family that were over there. One guy's, brother is already dead. One guy said his brother has no problems except for major headaches. One person said that his children are getting rashes up and down their arms.

SW!    Taking into account all of your experiences and any kind of investigation you've done on your own, what is your opinion of the cause, or the causes, of Gulf War illness?
E.S.    I would bet my next ten pay checks that we were exposed to chemicals and/or biological agents. What I want to know is: You knew all these chemicals were there-they found them in the bunkers-so why blow them up? If they're dropped on us out of their weapons, the bombs are actually exploding. Explosions don't dissolve them, so why blow them up? Where's the common sense? It's like the oxymoron military intelligence. When I joined the Army National Guard, I wanted to know about the chemicals and stuff. I went to one of the classes and I was talking to the gentleman who was talking about how good the American suits are. I said, 'You know, if they're so good, how come we had the British suits? Are they better?' He said, 'No, not even.' They're light-weight, easy to carry, easy to fold, easy to pack, and they're cooler. You won't sweat as much. Our suits weigh almost seven pounds. Their suits weigh two and a half. That's a big difference if you're wearing it and running around. They want you to move fast and die quick. He said those suits were totally worthless. I said, 'Then why did we have them?'. He said, 'I don't really have a good answer for you.' I said, 'That's what I've been hearing.'

SW!    Why do you think the government is behaving the way they're behaving in terms of dealing with Gulf War illness?
E.S.    Because they would pay out boucoup billions of dollars for all the people who've been infected. They would never be in politics anymore. I would say that 95% of the politicians right now would be gone. And America would have to start from scratch, start all over. Which is basically a thing I think we should do 'cause most of 'em got their hands in dirty water. In one way or another, they know what's going on. They're just afraid to admit it. The only ones that seem to be stepping forward are the ones that are coming short on their sentences, or getting out of politics, or are not up for election, so it doesn't matter. As soon as they're up for election, they change their goals.

SW!    What do you think people should do about the cover up? What do you think is the next step? There have been meetings and people are sharing information, learning more about what's going on, trying to get it out to a broader audience...
E.S.    If we can get enough politicians that have enough pull to side in our favor and go straight to the joint chiefs and go straight to the congress and say, 'This is what we found. Why won't you tell these people what's going on? We need to get this thing straight.' I don't see that can happen, 'cause no one wants to risk their job. As soon as they make waves, the president could say, 'next' and overrule it. Unfortunately, that's how the system works. And if they do get kicked out, they're gonna collect their full retirement. I served eight years for my country and I don't see a dime.

SW!    What do you think the potential is for support from the general public, just ordinary people?
E.S.    I think the majority of the people really wanna know what the problem is and how many people are affected. Almost everybody is. If we were to have hand-to-hand contact for a while, you could get it. When my wife started showing up with it, I wondered how many people I've come into contact with. How much contact do you need to pass it on? Does it strictly have to be sexual? Can it be a mutual hand shake? Can you bump somebody dancing?

SW!    What would you say to the younger generation who are being recruited now?
E.S.    I've always been an avid military person. I grew up with a military family, and I would still serve my country again. I really would. But I would question my orders. I would say, 'Check your orders before doing your orders. You have that right.' You're supposed to follow a legit order. If you have a problem with your order, you're supposed to do it and take it to somebody senior. Sometimes you get away with taking it to someone senior before doing it. That causes some flack. If it came to medicine, I think it should be an individual's choice. If you don't want the medicine, you shouldn't have to take it. I don't think medicine should be mandatory. At least get it approved by the FDA. If you are exposed and they give you medicine to help you out, that's a different thing. If you're not exposed, don't take the medicine.

SW!    Has your overall opinion of the Gulf War changed as a result of your experiences? Does it make you question other things?
E.S.    My opinion of the war is pretty much the same. We went over there with a purpose. My opinion of how the government treats it's troops has totally changed. I swore to defend the constitution against all enemies foreign and domestic. They're all domestic. There's nothing we can do about it. You know, if Schwarzkopf isn't having any problems, what medicine did he get or not get?

SW!    If the government knew what would happen even before they did all this stuff, do you think they thought it would be this big of a problem for them?
E.S.    I think they didn't care. I think they figured that most of us would be shot and killed anyway, so it wouldn't be an issue. It was supposed to have been the mother of all battles. They weren't expecting Iraq to surrender in force. I question Congress more than I question anyone else. Like I said, I would still do it all over again because that's the kind of person I am, but I want to know why.

SW!    How much do you hold the military accountable for what went down?
E.S.    I hold the military at about 'two stars and above'. They're responsible because they knew what was going on. Once you get up there, they know they're getting retirement pay. They don't care. They're fighting from a board room across the world.