SW! What where you exposed to in the Gulf?
T.O. Every night they would go through and spray stuff
because the flies and mosquitoes were really bad. Conditions
were really unsanitary. They did not tell us what they
were spraying. They inoculated us against a whole bunch
of stuff, but we never found out exactly what it was
because they didn't use shot records. The biggest problem
was when they started giving us these PB tablets right
before the ground war started. We had certain times
that we had to report to our first sergeant so he could
watch us take the stuff. From what I understand now,
a lot of people didn't take any of them. Some threw
their stuff away. Some faked taking it. We had heard
rumors that it hadn't been tested on anybody, but we
didn't know for sure. Then when the ground war was
over, we watched them blow up bunkers daily. There
were times when we heard the chemical alarms go off,
but then they would call an 'all clear'. We never knew
what was going on. I haven't heard anyone mention the
charcoal inside of the MOPP suits. The charcoal would
come off, and your skin would be black. They also gave
us inoculations in the gym at Fort Stewart. We also
had malaria tablets.
SW! What kind of symptoms are you experiencing?
T.O. While I was there, I was having a lot of problems
with my menstrual cycle. If it was not life-threatening,
they didn't want to deal with it. We were one of the
few units that had a doctor. I went to see him several
times and he would just give me Motrin and tell me
to go back and lay down. But my commander would never
let me rest. When I came back to the states, I started
having really serious problems. I had a laparoscopy
done, and I had endometriosis. After about a year,
it kept progressing and I was missing a lot of work.
My doctor wanted to give me Depo-Provera injections.
They were hoping that would shrink the endometriosis.
What ended up happening, is that I had a cycle for
21 days straight. I was having a lot of cramping. I
finally decided to have a hysterectomy as a last resort.
They found a lot of endometriosis inside me, in my
colon and on my ovaries. So life was better for me
after that. Then I started having problems being tired
all the time. You know, just feeling sick for no reason.
I was having severe headaches. I was having problems
with my vision, like floaters. I can see them now if
I look out. I was having chest pain. I really didn't
start being seen for anything until August of last
year. That's when they started really looking at people.
In the beginning of the exam process, I had a chest
x-ray, and they noticed right away that my lymph nodes
in my lungs were swollen. They wanted to do a biopsy,
and they started me on some medication for my headaches.
I started taking Nortriptyline too, because I was having
trouble sleeping. I could only sleep about four hours
a night. Then I had a broncoscopy done to get a biopsy,
and they found out that I had Pulmonary Sarcoidosis-which
is kind of the opposite of AIDS. In AIDS, your immune
system turns off and doesn't respond. In Sarcoidosis,
your immune system turns on and it doesn't shut off.
If it's not controlled, if it's in your lungs, it will
make your lung tissue hard or cause fibrosis. It makes
you really tired and you lymph nodes swell a lot-usually
in your neck and lungs.
SW! Do they have any theories as to what caused this?
T.O. The thing about Sarcoidosis is that they have
no known reason for it. It just happens. It usually
happens in Black women and Scandinavian men. I also
have a lot of painful joints. I was in bed all day
today because I felt like I couldn't walk. They also
found out that I had a degenerative retina in my right
eye. When I got out of the military, I had one of these
8-hour tests and they found out I have cognitive memory
loss. My learning curve had changed. I wasn't able
to learn as much as I could before.
SW! What kind of treatments have you undergone?
T.O. Mostly medication and treatment at the VA.
SW! You're 34 years old, and were healthy before you
went to the Gulf-and you have all these illnesses now?
T.O. Yeah, my family is all real healthy.
SW! Is there anyone who you have close contact with
who is also experiencing symptoms?
T.O. The only thing I can think of is my cat. We had
two kitties from the Humane Society, and one of them
started having clumps of hair come out of her neck.
It would grow back and fall out again. She started
having respiratory problems to the point that when
she sleeps, she snores-loud, and she breathes real
raspy. But the doctor says there is nothing wrong with
her. I've heard that before...
SW! What's the deal with this 'combat stress'?
T.O. Well, I don't think their idea of PTSD is what's
causing all these people to be sick. People don't die
from PTSD. I had never heard of anybody dying from
Gulf War Syndrome until after I got out. Then, low
and behold, over 4,000 people have died. It's like,
'Where have I been for four years?'
When you are recruiting in the Army, you have to become
so civilianized that you really don't have any contact
with the military itself. You don't get the same information
that other people in the Army do. The only people you
work with are the other recruiters, and they purposely
keep you away from all that.
SW! Why do you think the government is behaving this
way? Why do you think they're covering it up?
T.O. Because for one, you have to look at the monetary
issues for all of those soldiers who've died already.
Even though you cannot lawfully sue the government,
they are not going to tell the soldiers' families the
truth. And they are definitely not going to tell the
people who are still in the military the truth. It's
more to their advantage that they not admit it. If
they had to compensate everybody who was over there
who was sick, this country would be bankrupt, practically.
They don't want people to know what they are doing
because they need to keep the loyalty factor. If people
knew they were being used as guinea pigs, sorry-but
they wouldn't go for that. The government doesn't want
to admit to what they did. They don't want to own up
to it. But this is not Vietnam anymore, and this is
not Agent Orange. Back then, a lot of people were quiet
and subtle about how they tried to find answers to
problems. Now people are saying, 'We're not taking
no for an answer. We are going to do what we have to
do.'
SW! How do you feel now about having been a recruiter?
T.O. When you're a recruiter, you have to put your
own personal views to the side. You can't really say
what you're really thinking, because nobody would join.
But the thing is, you have to look at the individual
from their point of view, and how it's going to affect
and better them. There's a lot of kids that I put in
the Army because I knew the Army would be good for
them. I would never down-talk the Army-or the military
for that matter. What I would do, is educate the people
going in a little bit more and make sure that they
are not as naive. That's one of the things that the
military thrives on-ignorance and trust.
SW! Has your opinion of the Gulf War changed at all
as a result of your experience?
T.O. Yes. One of the things that I can definitely say
is that I'm really angry at the military for giving
me medications that had never been tested on anybody
else, and also for not taking care of people the way
they said they were going to. Unless you were shot
in the head or had some life-threatening disease while
you were there, you didn't get anything but a bandage
and some Motrin in Saudi, and you were told to go on.
SW! What about the war itself?
T.O. I thought it was stupid. We were there for nine
months and didn't accomplish anything. Big deal-Saddam
Hussein's people were out of where they were supposed
to be. We gave up a lot of our lives, and it's still
affecting us, and he's still in power. I think a lot
of the things they said were not exactly true. When
you're talking about oil, and running the United States,
and where the oil is coming from... They had no intention
of jeopardizing that.
SW! You talked some about how women are experiencing
different symptoms than men...
T.O. There are a lot of women out there that are having
a lot more problems than the guys are having. I'm not
minimizing the men's problems, but it's true. They're
not focusing on women like they should. I haven't seen
anything written about women and the Gulf War Syndrome
at all. Another thing is the counseling. People were
making suicide attempts when we were in Saudi. There
was a lot of stuff that people never heard about-people
trying to kill themselves because they wanted to leave
there so bad.
SW! What do you think should be done about the Gulf
War Illnesses?
T.O. First of all, they should stop telling us that
it's all in our heads. It makes people angry, and it
makes them doubt themselves. The military needs to
admit what actually happened so that people can take
the burden off of themselves and put it where it really
belongs. People are blaming themselves- 'Well, maybe
if I wouldn't have done this, or if I would have worn
my MOPP gear that one time, then maybe my child wouldn't
be deformed...' Well, maybe that wasn't the problem.
SW! How do you think we're going to get the military
to take responsibility?
T.O. They're not going to. I'm serious. The CIA and
the DOD are all pointing fingers like little kids saying,
'I didn't do it, I didn't do it.' Nobody is ever going
to admit it, no matter what happens.
SW! Do you think anything can be done? Obviously you're
going to these meetings, speaking out...
T.O. I think the information needs to be put out there
more. There's got to be more information on the Net.
I spend a lot of time on the Net, and I know a lot
of soldiers sitting in their rooms in their barracks
spend a lot of time on the Net. They need to understand
what's going on, because they won't get involved unless
they know about it.